It’s Saturday morning and Lizzie and I are doing jobs in the kitchen.
Things are a little tense, because they always are on a Saturday morning. This is because Lizzie always wants to kick off the weekend with an epic crusade of catching up with chores. Whereas the only epic thing I want to do on a Saturday morning, is to be epically lazy.
Anyway, Lizzie’s obviously winning because it’s seven-thirty in the morning and she’s got me peeling potatoes.
‘Do you want me to put these in water?’ I ask her as I peel.
‘Yes,’ replies Lizzie, as she does the ironing. ‘Otherwise the potatoes will brown.’
I feel a pang of irritation. ‘Yes, I know they’ll brown, that’s why I offered to put them in water. But thanks for mum-splaining that to me.’
Lizzie scowls. ‘Why are you in such a bad mood?’ she snaps.
‘I’m not in a bad mood.’ I smile and chuckle unconvincingly. ‘Actually, I find it amusing.’
Lizzie doesn’t reply, but presses down on the ironing a lot harder than necessary.
Over the next couple of minutes, we move on from the subject of potatoes – and our moods improve.
‘Did you see anyone famous, at the Hay Festival?’ Lizzie is now asking. I did indeed go to the annual literature festival, in Hay-on-Wye, yesterday… and had a great old time, wandering about and soaking it all up (although not soaking up any alcohol – at nine pounds a pint).
I think. ‘No I didn’t. Although lots of famous people where there, apparently. Dua Lipa, was there. I don’t think she’s written a book, though. Not by herself, anyway.’
‘Tracey Emin was there,’ Lizzie chimes in. ‘She talked about her cancer. Apparently, she said that the experience of having cancer has made her a better artist.’
This has obviously struck a chord with Lizzie, for obvious reasons. In the past, Lizzie has said she likes Emin’s work. But I wonder what she thinks about this statement, given by the artist at the Hay Festival?
Lizzie smiles wryly.
‘It’s not like she’s going to say it’s made her a worse artist, is it?’ she says.
I shake my head.
‘She’s not going to say her cancer has made her weak and prematurely menopausal and with absolutely no upper body strength to do any art, is she?’
‘Probably not,’ I reply, smiling back.
Lizzie smirks to herself some more, then continues ironing – maybe to help build up her own compromised upper body strength (or, more likely, just because it needs to be done).
Lizzie often says that creating art can be physically gruelling… and that having cancer has made her weaker and made painting harder for her. But maybe, if you’re a superstar artist like Tracey Emin, you have other people to do the heavy lifting for you anyway.
‘What kind of cancer did Emin have?’ I ask.
‘Bladder cancer,’ Lizzie replies.
‘That’s so not as good as yours,’ I say, absurdly, and we both laugh dark laughs at the ridiculousness of the comment.
May 2023
P. D. Clifton 
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