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96: SICK
I’m talking to Lizzie and Annie in the living room. We’re all recovering from a twenty-four hour stomach bug, which has seen Annie off school the last few days. I felt pretty dizzy and nauseous last night, but today I seem to be OK again. Annie, on the other hand, is really milking the fact…
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95: SCUTTLE F***ERY!
Lizzie took these photos of a spider in our house, lurking on a doorframe. Is it waiting to drop on our heads as we walk through? Probably. Maybe this is why we don’t get many visitors (apart from spiders). Click here for main blog page
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94: BEER FEAR
We’re on the train back home, the Sunday after Lizzie’s London party, and I’m mingingly hungover. I want to loll my head over and put it on Lizzie’s shoulder, but I know she’ll never let me. She doesn’t go for heads-on-shoulders kinds of poses. Of course, I have beer fear: alcohol-fuelled-paranoia about what kind of…
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93: BIRTHDAY BLACKMAIL
It’s Thursday afternoon and I’m in my home office, doing some particularly boring work. My friend B. rings and I gladly pick up. ‘Hi P.!’ she says. She actually calls me ‘P.’ I’m not trying to hide my own identity. ‘Can you talk?’ B. asks. ‘I’m doing some particularly boring work,’ I reply. ‘So, definitely!’…
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92: WELCOME TO THE NOTSWOLDS
I’ve just relocated my office to the loft… and I’ve realised this is the ONLY room in the house with a view of the Cotswolds*. Just. I mean, you have to REALLY REALLY look. It’s a question of squinting really. Through binoculars. But still! THE BLOOMIN’ COTSWOLDS!!! Move over Jeremy Clarkson, this is our ‘hood…
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91: YOUNG AT HEART
It’s Saturday afternoon and I’m watching Annie play hockey, whilst talking to one of the Hockey Dads. Frankly, I feel a little intimidated whenever I talk to this particular Hockey Dad. He’s the headmaster of a nearby school! A small school, admittedly… but still, a school! A WHOLE school! I’m always nervous I’ll say something…
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90: HELLO, HEDGEHOG HELPLINE!
I’m jogging down Bunton Hill by myself, in the darkness. I’m wearing one of those jogging headlamp things… which throws out two perfect intersecting circles of light in front of my face, like an illuminated Venn diagram. As I continue running, I suddenly spot… looming out of the darkness in front of me… this! It’s…
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89: WILL
I’m chauffeuring Annie around again, in our clapped-out old car. Right now, we’re heading back from an out-of-season football friendly in our local town. Her team won 3-2. Go the local town girls under-fourteens! As we drive back, suddenly – apropos of nothing – Annie asks: ‘Dad? Have you and Mum got a will?’ Now,…
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88: PORTRAITS
Lizzie gleefully pointed out, earlier, that while there are a number of her portraits of Cedric (our dog) dotted around the house… there are absolutely none of me. As if my standing in the family hadn’t already been made clear enough… Click here for main blog page
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87: (WHAT A) WASTE OF (WHAT A) WONDERFUL WORLD
‘Do you know Pythagoras’ Theorem?’ my daughter asks, as I drive her to hockey on Saturday morning. She’s holding a bunch of coloured ‘flash cards’ – covered in hieroglyphic-like mathematical equations – which she’s using to help her revise for a test coming up after the summer holiday. ‘Something to do with triangles?’ I mutter…
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P. D. Clifton 